The Fire
by edward-is-my-life.fran
Summary: Stefan has left Elena, or so Elena thinks. So Elena Vampire decides to escape town and build a new life, settling in with humans. But what happens when Damon returns? What secrets will unfold? And is Stefan really gone for good? DELENA/STELENA :
1. Chapter 1

The Fire

Prologue

It was the strange scent in the air that caught my attention first. I leaned across my desk, slight interest taking over my senses for a small while. The wooden door of the classroom opened majestically, and without a doubt, I knew that Damon Salvatore was about to walk into the room...

I gasped. My eyes blurred for a short while. I can remember loving this man. I can remember seeing him in my thoughts and dreams. He was to haunt me forever, the prophecy said so. _Bonnie_ said so.

His eyes glimpsed over my direction. It was clear to me already that he didn't intend to inspect me for long. I already knew his game. I had been one of the chess pieces, controlled and monitored.

It was a split second later that I began to feel anguish toward him. The emotions that this being had caused me...I remember them well; Pain, anxiety, anger, hatred, happiness, upset and confusion; most of all, confusion. Damon had put me through so much already...

I could see him walking over to the empty desk. Mr Schrader had directed him to the empty desk at the front, where he flexed him arms muscles, propping his head up on his bent arm. He looked at home. And that was that. He looked over raising his eyebrow at me, an evil smirk polluting his face.

And it was then I knew I would have to accept this. That was my past, this is my present and he was the future...


	2. Forgiving or Forgetting?

**A/N Well, this is chapter number one. I've decided that this story is a cross between the book and the TV programme. There are several aspects of the book I have added to the fan fiction but this is mostly based on the characters in the TV show... so... enjoy? I guess... it depends if anyone actually **_**reads **_**this. **

**(By the way, I have deleted most of my fanfictions because no one wanted to read them except for torn no more... I **_**might **_**have another go at that and see where that goes....)**

Forgiving or Forgetting?

Ignore me, ignore me, ignore me, ignore m-

"Elena!" Damon said, swooping in front of me, false elation on his face.

"What are you doing_ here_ Damon?" I asked, my voice low, and hard- like steel.

Damon grinned, the right side of his face planted with a smirk.

"I love your stubbornness Elena," Damon complimented; "It suits you as a vampire y'know, gives you a kind of edge..." he trailed off; looking around him, checking no one was watching him. He was never that precautious before. He placed his left arm on the locker I was about to open, leaving me with my school books tucked under my arms.

"Damon! Answer my question!" I demanded. My upper lip pulled back in a ferociously quick movement, a reflex action, something beyond my control. I bared my pointed canines at him, and my face felt hard as stone.

"Whoa!" Damon said, putting his hands up in surrender.

"I don't appreciate sarcasm Damon," I grumbled, the vampire effect wearing off as I spoke, "Now answer me... why are you here?"

"What if I don't want to answer to you?"Damon said, cocking his eyebrow at me.

"If you don't want to answer me, leave," I decided, waiting impatiently for an answer.

And as quick as a flash he was gone.

Dammit, I thought, punching the locker.

A week passed. Damon continued to harass me after European history with Mr Schrader, and, although the urgency in his voice on some occasions seemed important- he didn't seem to want to tell me anything.

It was frustrating to say the least... Damon's irrevocable system seemed pointless. Why was he here? I couldn't understand.

It was Friday, and the end of school. I wandered by myself up to the house I called home. It was a grand old state home, been in the family for years. A few legal documents here and there- problem solved! The mansion was beautiful, and reminded me of the Salvatore's home back then. They had similar architecture, the same woody smell, the hominess that you didn't expect with large houses.

I threw my bag on the chair by the door, and walked straight up to my study. My study kept all of my things... my diaries, my scripts, historical documents and folders. I also used it as a spare bedroom, for no apparent reason, seeing as I had plenty of them, and I _never_ had anybody round anyway.

I opened the left hand drawer of my chestnut Victorian style desk. My hand hovered over the paper that lay within. I was speculating to myself, wondering if I was doing the right thing. I so hoped I was because I plunged my hand into the drawer and stole away the pieces. I went to sit on the single bed, undid the string that tied the paper together and unfolded one of the manuscripts. My hand wavered and shook a few times before I managed to gain composure. I couldn't believe that I was doing this again...

_Elena,_

_I wrote this letter to compensate for leaving you for this brief period. I know that I told you we wouldn't be apart. I couldn't stay away could I?_

_When I first met you, you were in a bit of disarray. You seemed so bemused and disorganized, almost. It was as if you had everything you wanted, but there was still more; still something better for you out there._

_And then we got together, and I swear to you, it was the best thing that has happened to me in the three or four lifetimes I've had. You changed me, you taught me how to understand, care, trust and love. You were liberal, and forgave me when I got aggressive, or when I found myself in an uncontrolled manner. And Elena, you were my ray of hope; my sun, in the dark, dark night. The way you complete me is astounding to me. And if this is what it feels to be truly in love, never leave me Elena, never. Because I promise to you on my life and soul that I will never love anyone other than you. I would die for you._

_Yours,_

_Stefan_

As I read the final words I found an unexplained relish to the letter. There was this amongst many heart-to-heart letters from Stefan. And not one tear dribbled miserably down my cheek- as maybe there had been before. Not one wail or snivel that caught my throat or left my lips. There was just one single sentence that echoed frostily off of my lips.

_You lied..._


	3. The Memory

Chapter two 

The following Monday, I awoke in the morning to the smell of cologne. Alarmed, at the almost foreign smell, I got up quickly, and quickly tiptoed across the landing. I readied myself, ready for an attack, if need be. Who on earth would be in my house? And _why?_

I crouched low to the ground, my untied hair falling in curtains around my face. I located the source of the smell, just behind the island I was hiding behind. My predators instinct kept me strong willed, and with one swift movement I pounced.

Nothing… I was certain the intruder was standing right there…

With another sniff, I apprehended that the victim was of my kind. A breath flourished behind me. I took in oxygen, standing still, my back to the vampire. I bent my legs, and sprung into position, but before I could compose myself, I was flung into the air. For a split second, I panicked, felt fear.

But then I landed safely into a familiar set of arms. I jumped up and recoiled from the embrace.

"Damon," I seethed, my eyes glowing with hatred.

Damon stood, in his usual jet black attire, his hair neatly gelled, and a lofty smile on his face. He laughed.

"Don't be so… over-reactive," Damon said, pouring some champagne into a glass. I paused, choosing my words carefully.

"Over-reactive? Damon, I woke up to the smell of men's perfume, prepared and ready to fight an intruder, and instead, I find you hear, happily drinking my booze," I said.

Damon cocked his eyebrow, an expression that said to me; so?

Seething, I raced towards him; a bullet to the enemy, a siren to a call, and a vampire to the fresh scent of open blood… the images drove my mind wild. I threw my hand against the wall beside his head, and sank my long fingernails into his hair, twisting my body around him. And all of a sudden, I felt a magnetic pulse feed through our dead bodies. A heat breathed through my body, and Damon spun me around, so I had my back to the wall. He kissed my lips for the second time he had ever. The passionate embrace in which he held me felt like floating on the moon. My breath shook, and I took short rasped breaths, sucking in air, but not really feeling the need to. Damon dragged his pointed teeth across my jaws, and roughly bit into my neck. I gasped, and then moaned at the excitement of the scene. I could taste bitter blood on my tongue, the divine

He tumbled onto my lips one more time, softly stroking my tongue with his lips. But by then, the light had faded, the thrill ride over. Slowly, we both rested away from each other's bodies. He turned away from me. He was disgusted by me.

"Damon," I said.

"No, Elena," he said, turning his head slightly, so he could just see my face. He frowned.

What had I done? Was I bad? Was I not good enough for 'the perfect Salvatore'? It seemed so. I studied his movements as he leaned on my kitchen counter. His muscles flexed, his face set like stone, yet his blue eyes shone.

I sighed, taking it what had happened.

"Damon, this is no problem, honestly," I said. He stood up straight, and looked me in the eye, expecting me to carry on.

"We can just forget it ever happened," I explained, "Avoid the subject, and no one will know." 

That night, after Damon had left, I wondered, who on earth was I protecting the kiss from?

It was mid October, and the leaves splashed out auburn colours across the pavement. I heard some footsteps behind me, and at once I spun around, only to smile at Damon.

"Hey," he said, smiling happily at me. I smiled too.

"Hey," I replied, walking to school in a comfortable silence.

I could feel Damon's eye's run around my body, though I showed no notice.

"Where'd you get that necklace?" he asked.

I looked down to find my ruby plated necklace steadily resting on my collar bone.

_Bonnie Bennett- 6 years ago_

_Bonnie and I sat in a sleepless dream, listening to the soft music that played through the speakers. The room was decorated in wall hangings, and fluffy teddy bears, and a huge grandfather clock stood up against one wall. It was odd; I had been in Bonnie's room quite a few times, and I had never really noticed it as such. I had noticed the sleek walls, and the polished ivory dressing table, and the one-and-a-half bed that Bonnie had occupied for many years, yet I had never really noticed the old grandfather clock, castaway in the distance, there, but too average to really notice._

_My thoughts turned to Bonnie at that stage. For some reason, the idea of a castaway, far in the distance reminded me of her. I scolded myself noiselessly, and shaft the thought aside. I was enjoying the silence too much to worry about how I evaluated the popularity of my friends._

"_So, you're going ahead with it then?" Bonnie said. We looked at each other, and I thought of how betrayed she'd feel, I knew how much she hated them, though a weak smile was on her face._

_She was often like that now. Quiet and solemn, respecting other's thoughts and rights. Ever since the trauma, she had never spoken up for herself as she had. She always used to be so fiery, so alight, and now… Now she was afraid of the outside world._

"_Yeah," I smiled feebly back, saying the words, knowing what the words meant, but not quite feeling them in that context._

_Then she rose from her seat, strode over to the little ivory dressing table, and pulled a jewel from one of the drawers. _

_She held her palm out to me and as the cold metal touched me, she clasped her hands together._

_I looked deeply at her face, as she slowly raised her eyes towards mine. _

"_I'm dying Elena," Bonnie said. I small whimper escaped my lips. I knew this already._

"_No, no you're not," I said undoubtedly, though I was probably trying to reassure myself._

"_Yes I am," Bonnie said. She was ready for it, I just couldn't understand why._

"_What about Jeremy?" I asked, my eyes watering, thinking of my little brother's disappointment._

"_He's been good to me Elena," Bonnie said. For a short second there was silence._

"_I don't want you to die Bonnie," I said, crying my eyes out all of a sudden. Bonnie took me into her arms. She was acting like an old woman. She shouldn't want to leave me. Bonnie and Caroline were my only friends, during the whole of my life. _

"_Elena, it has to be so. I'll be with grams. I'll be just fine. But YOU have to stay strong, for me…"_

The memory faded, and I was acutely aware that Damon had picked up on my hesitation.

"It's private, okay?" I said, finalizing my statement with a swipe of my sleeve across my face.

Damon wouldn't carry on. He may have done in the past, but not now. He wanted to be on my good side, that's all I knew for sure. Ever since I had had a temper tantrum at my place, he was acting perfectly.

"Why did you change Damon?" I asked, still following the paths way.

"Change?" Damon asked, puzzled. I looked him in the eye. The dark brown opulent looked back at me. He seemed to realise how different he actually was.

"Stefan's not around anymore," he said, agreeing with my comment.

No, Stefan wasn't the reason for his behaviour before. He was sadistic after _Katherine_.

"Damon, it's absolutely _nothing_ to do with your brother," I said, the typical tone in my voice.

"Elena. You, don't- know," Damon finalized. He looked around the park we were walking through.

"So, why did you kiss me again?" I asked, lightening the tone a little by gently pushing Damon off the path, now that I was as strong as him.

The bad memories flushed away with Damon's aura; for the moment.

Maybe I was wrong, but was Damon looking at me funny? It was a quarter to ten, and we had another five minutes of the lesson. His eyes gleamed furiously at me, so intent that I fiddled with my hair nervously. I tried to concentrate on my notes.

Glancing up, I saw on the whiteboard;

((PXP) X 3)((PXP))X4) =?  
I thoughtcarefully, we did this in third year, I _should_ know.

"Elena?" My teacher said, cockily. He probably thought I couldn't do it.

I replied back, "P squared minus 12?" I said, fully knowing I was correct.

He just narrowed his eyes and glanced at me occasionally for the duration of the lesson, as did Damon. I glanced upward again, and he had turned away. All of a sudden he was staring at me again. The fire in the pupils raced like broken glass cut through skin; sharp, domitable. He looked so lonely. Tears seemed to form in his eyes, or was it my imagination? My heart pulled. The single second that passed overwhelmed me. I understood what he felt like now. How he had felt the whole time; how had I missed it for so long? I had to think. Throwing my things into my bag, I slung the strap around my shoulder, before quickly exiting the room.

I was standing on the edge of the forest, alongside the school. Again, the soft breeze whipped my hair into my face, empowering the human in me. It was times like these that I longed to feel my heart beat in my own chest. Times like these when all I could possibly wish for was to feel the rapid flow of blood render across my body. Damon's scent crossed my path again; bittersweet, like the smell of cream and coco on a cold day. I found it strange how different yet how incomprehensibly similar they both tasted. I hadn't tried Damon, of course, only Stefan. Stefan. I sighed once more. Sometimes I missed him so much. Others I hated that he was ever a part of my life, fathomlessly believing that my life could have been so much better if I had never met him. But I realised that wasn't true. Stefan brought so many good things into my life, but his parting gift was hurt; to me, and somehow my family. Oh, the miserable lifestyle that had encountered from when he left...

Stefan Salvatore- 7 years ago

"_Stop that Stefan!" I giggled. I was happily in love. Stefan's arms curved around my fragile frame, fitting precisely into shape with my body. He snaked his arm around my waist, my body moving in juts, up and down, not quite in times or patterns. I could feel his nose slide past my stomach, his mouth kissing my body._

_His angelic laugh was muffled by my body. _

_I wrapped my hand in his hair once more, and then relaxed, as he rolled off me, resting on his back contently. I faced him, and studied the sleek planes of his face, the chiselled angles that bounced off of his jaw line; and the soft creases in the corner of his eyes. They were very faint and you wouldn't be able to spot them unless you knew him well. His face, to me, was perfect, his body was, perfect, his arms, legs, ankles, ears, hair, everything: perfect. I smiled sweetly at him._

_He muttered at me; "You're staring," _

_I laughed._

"_It's creepy," he added._

"_It's romantic," I said, giggling. _

_He promptly threw a pillow on his face._

"_Hey!" I protested. I knew he was smiling. Ripping the pillow off of him, despite his great strength, I kissed him slowly; it was perfect._

"Elena!" Damon said. My brain didn't react. I was so confused, "Are you okay," he asked, raising his hands to cradle my face. I met his eyes for one moment, and then shook his hands away. I didn't want him, not anymore. I wanted Stefan. I wanted what we had before, our love, our bond- unbreakable, beautiful.

Stefan's beautiful green eyes shone out at me from my mind. Damon stared at me with puppy dog eyes, asking on his face.

But I couldn't agree to his question. I knew what it was. I wouldn't leave him in the dark, but he couldn't get what he wanted either, I couldn't love like that again. I just _couldn't_. It was my past; my past with one single person that changed and saved my life so many times.

"Damon. No," I said, shaking my head, "This isn't right and you know that." I closed my eyelids. No longer would I fear him if I disobeyed his wishes. I was as he was now, a vampire, a filthy bloodsucker. Was this what I wanted; definitely not. I turned out of consequence, though I wanted it for happiness; for to die whilst your lover lives on seemed so twisted and wrong, just as it was the other way around. I saw no other way; I would not let _Stefan_ die because of me, never in a lifetime.

"Don't leave me Elena," Damon whispered softly to me.

"I have to," I said, wiping my eye with my sleeve.

He grabbed my neck with his arm, memories flooded back; the tomb, where he had used me to get to Stefan, before he had… loved me. The first time I allowed myself to believe it. Was it a curse? Were the Salvatore brothers destined for betrayal of the same looking woman, with the same, sweet Salvatore winning each time?

"There's something you need to know," Damon's pained voice reached. I frowned.

"Damon! Get off!" I screeched. He didn't respond, stuck in panic. He had given me no other choice; I flung him into the trees. I needed Stefan, I needed Stefan…

"That's why I came back- I needed you to know!"Damon's voice ricocheted around the forest's walls, as I turned my back on him. "Don't you want to know Elena?" Damon said.

"I already know Damon," I said to him.

His face broke. Shock excelled in him. So he didn't realise I knew.

He tipped himself around, much like a drunken man after a Saturday night.

I shook my head and ran.


	4. The Return

Damon Salvatore [episode 1]

Not again.

If I love her so damn much, why am I the one in pain? I may not deserve Elena Gilbert, but to think of her and Stefan, together. His arms all over her, his lips to her mouth… I felt the same loathing as I had with, _her_.Katherine Peirce. Katherine Peirce was the least of my worries now, but no matter how contemporary her whereabouts was; she will linger forever in my mind. Was that her plan? Make me love her, love her looks, kill to breathe?

Probably, her thoughts were only ever pain for me. Not precious Stefan.

I applaud her, her and her sick twisted mind. Making me the monster I am today, making her beloved Stefan the one to Elena's heart. Of course, as Emily had whispered, 'pure heart even now,' but it's fair to say, that could never possibly be the case for me and my heart; me, alone, the other one, the lady killer-of sorts. I chuckled to myself, though the rage came back at once. Women did taste sweeter than men, their blood much softer and warm.

She'd left, I'd noted. I downed a few packets of blood that I carried with me. The sickly taste of hospital blood re-vitalised me, refreshed me too; but it tasted like out of date food. Not like the real thing. Anger still pulsed through my veins.

I ran through the open forest, not caring about anything but blood. I _needed_ it. Colours flew past me, greens, reds, and oranges. My legs moved forward in such heavy beats, yet I still raced like a cunning deer, quiet and powerfully quick.

I imagined Elena fingers woven into my hands, her enchanting body so close to mine, the perfect doppelganger of Katherine. I bit viciously into her throat, teasing the blood from her body- whilst she drew breath, fighting for-

"Why Damon?" A voice called.

"Elena?" I said, stopping in my tracks.

"You told me you could be good. You said you had changed,"

I remained silent.

"Please Damon. You mean a lot to me, but I can only love once," the voice explained.

I spat on the ground. I wanted to cry.

"Something good will happen to you Damon," Elena's voice whispered into the rain.

I shook my head, perching on a tree stump.

I sat in silence for a long while.

Suddenly I jumped up and threw a baby birch across the birth of the forest.7

I walked away.

Saturday morning. I writhed in my bed, feeling the empty space next to me. It was years since anyone was ever there. I carefully traced my index finger along the sheet to my left. Smiling fondly, I rose from my bed and brushed through my hair.

My hands grappled my brush with rigid anger. I glanced into the mirror ahead of me. My eyes shone like diamonds in the pupil, but the rest of my face was blank. There was nothing; nothing exciting in my features, no light, and no fire.

The tender floats of dust swayed lightly. My eyes were easily able to see the tiny specs. I could even hear them, if I concentrated.

Beats of a drum filled my ears. My phone was ringing. I sighed and walked over to the dressing table before 'Resistance' started blaring out of the speakers.  
"Hello?" I asked, the number unrecognised.

"Elena?" a sweet, sickly voice asked.

My eyes hardened.

"Caroline?" I assumed, whispering inclusively; uninhibited.

I heard someone clear their throat.

"Yes," she replied.

"What- how did you get this number?" I stuttered, still deciding a chronological order in which I could ask my questions.

"I saw Damon last night-" Caroline said, factually, unemotionally.

I sighed. That meant they were together last night then. A motion of unease swept through my body. Not because of jealously, but for fear. I never really understood Damon and Caroline's relationship. Damon used to use her when she was human, but now, as a vampire; their random sex ploy's seemed to work for them. I couldn't help but feel pity for her.

"Oh," I said.

"Can we meet up Elena?" Caroline said eagerly, "I've missed you, how about a catch up?"

I smiled.

"Sure Caroline," I said, "I'll be out in five. You know where to find me."

I walked out of the house. I could see a golden ray of sunlight, Caroline. She looked beautiful, yet simply casual. She had her long blond hair down, with a thin printed scarf around her neck. She wore a pink t-shirt under a white coat that looked _very_ expensive. He legs were wrapped in tight denim; skinny fits that fit perfectly, with some simply pink pumps on her feet.

I frowned.

"Elena!" Caroline said in deep elation. I couldn't help but think she wasn't pleased to see me at all, that this unexpected return was just a charade.

I hugged her out of custom; we hadn't seen each other in over six years. She kissed both of m cheeks and smiled.

"I love your sweater," she regarded.

"Thanks," I said, twisting nervously around in the blue cashmere.

"Why the long face?" Caroline asked me, "Are you okay? Was this a bad idea?" Caroline fretted.

I paused.

"Shall we talk this out over a cup of coffee?" I asked.

"Sure," Caroline said, in control this time.

We ended up at Margo's Diner; it was only a few minutes running for us both. She was faster than me, of course. She had more experience than me, if only by a few years. And I didn't exactly get out much, the only exercise I did was physical at school, now that I'd rejoined there.

"So Elena," Caroline started, "How's Stefan these days? I couldn't pick up his scent at your place, is he away?" she asked.

The words hit me like stone to a living creature. Why would she start with this question? Hadn't Damon told her? I suppose they wouldn't have done much thinking… God, they were so lucky. I haven't felt like that in such a long time…

"Stefan's- gone," I said, sipping the tea I'd ordered.

Caroline's face froze in shock for just under a second.

"Really? What happened?" She said. I felt like we were two old ladies, having a gossip at the local bingo club.

I replied , "It just didn't work out, in the end,"

Caroline mused.

"But you two were together so long. You _loved_ him Elena. I haven't seen that much love in- forever," Caroline said.

I closed my eyes. This was torture. I'd kept this tucked inside for so long, and now I was expected to tell Caroline? I loved Caroline. She'd been with me and Bonnie for so long. She'd seen my life, my love. She understood me; I just wished Bonnie had been the one I could cry to seven years ago.

"He- we, umm, Damon-" I tried to come up with some sort of untruth to satisfy her questions, but I just couldn't think of anything at all.

I shook my head, surrendering and gladly offering defeat.

"Elena!" Caroline's voice quizzed, "Are you alright? You're crying!"

Caroline raced across the diner to comfort me. Luckily the diner was almost empty. I hadn't even realised I was crying until I was bawling my eyes out. I looked up from Caroline's embrace that she had coiled me in to.

There was a male presence in the back of the room, hidden by a broadsheet paper. The scent of him warmed me at first, and then, when I was coherent again; alarmed me.

"Caroline," I whispered carefully into her ear. She continued to remain conventional.

"The man at the back of the café," I spoke slowly, yet not taking my eyes off the figure behind the newspaper.

"Is Stefan,"

I felt her clench her arms around me in shock. I was sure as shocked too. But dissimilarly, I felt no panic, as I had done in all the relative distresses in my life, my death, my break up, my letters. I felt calm, collected.

In a dream like motion, I rose from Caroline's arms, walked carefully over to the back up the diner. Placing one foot in front of the other I ambushed the man at the back. When I got close enough, I could see his face.

His beautiful features shone like stars. He looked me in the eyes. My eyes watered, as his did. I could hear Caroline rising from her seat, but she didn't move any closer. This was most defiantly a private moment.

Stefan broke, and shot up from his seat, and then stalling. In one quick moment, I outstretched my arms to him. That single second was the most painful of my life. The single time period was too long for my liking.

My arms were bound around his strong body. I cried freely now, sobbing into his chest. I felt invigoration pulse in my heart, happiness bleed through me. It filled my whole being with ecstasy. Just to know that Stefan was hugging my body back resulted in enough joy and ease to last me forever…


	5. The Choice

Sunday morning. So much had changed. So many emotions; that were multiplied into millions more, as a vampire, heated my cold shell. I was uncertain that yesterday even happened. Reaching to my left, as I had done yesterday, I felt a large shoulder blade. I traced my finger around the humongous, solid bone, drawing shapes into his back.

Unexpectedly, I felt a pull on my gut. It was awkward anxiety and discomfort. I remembered the letter, how he had never returned all those years ago…

My finger hindered in the centre of his shoulder blade, before dropping to the lavishly thick bedding. Groaning in frustration, I tried to overlook my feelings of back then. Not now, anyway. I wanted some peace and comfort for just a little while.

"Good morning Miss Gilbert," Stefan said.

I giggled abolishing the unpleasant thinking. I wanted to feel again, be in touch with my senses.

Warm lips touched mine, and I rhythmically paced myself with his adorning. He grabbed my waist and pulled me round and over him. It felt extremely satisfying. I'd had the whole package, tender love in the morning, and rough hard sex at night. Just kissing him now felt so completing and compelling that I never wanted to stop.

And I'd guess that we wouldn't for a while; but when we did, I'd have to come down from my high, and respire to the demons of the past…

"_Is our secret safe tonight- and are we out of sight? Or will our world come tumbling down?"_

My ringtone rang loudly. Stefan was outside in the forest that stood at the back of my property, hunting. I'd just come out of a shower, after our antics this morning.

_Damon; _the phone stated. My happiness declined away from me.

"Hello?" I said sweetly.

"Elena." Damon said bluntly.

"Yes Damon?" I said, desperately wanting to get outside with Stefan; to feed with him.

"What you said Friday," he began. Out of the blue, I remembered our conversation.

Guilty, I replied, "Damon, I'm sorry about Friday. I didn't mean to drop you like that. I feel so bad. I honestly _know_ I shouldn't have said anything like that to you," I said, not quite feeling the words. I was so desperate to continue my human happiness. I felt elated, reborn and new.

"Elena. You said you knew what I was going to tell you," Damon's hard voice pleaded to me.

"Tell me what Damon?" I said, running down the stairs.

"Elena! Stop pretending like you don't know. You told me you _knew_. How could you know that I love you?"

His voice cracked out of grief. I stood still, one Ugg on my left foot.

I felt so much responsibility then. All of this was my fault. If I wasn't so self-obsessed then I could have dealt with this. Damon must have been in so much pain over the last 24 hours.

"So that's why you slept with Caroline last night," I thought aloud.

"What?" Damon snapped, "How do you know about that?"

"I spoke to Caroline yesterday," I initiated, pulling up a chair.

"And?" Damon said.

"She told me that she was in the area, she had found out my number because she was round- yours," I said awkwardly. I found people's sex lives private, never discussed if I could.

"She asked me how Stefan was- after that, we didn't get very far, because he was sitting right across from us-" I panted. I felt like I was getting convicted, that I was pleading my innocence against the remorse I'd caused.

"Stop, Elena," Damon said. He was hurt. I so wanted to talk to him in person, but I was afraid he'd be more messed up than I could deal with.

I was silent.

"Stefan _visited _you?" Damon spat through the phone.

"Yes," I replied. I promise to tell the truth, and only the truth…

"You _stayed _with him last night?"

I knew what he was implying.

"So what if I did Damon?" I barked, hissing slightly. It was like he had a natural talent to annoy people, no matter what the situation.

"Elena. I called him up yesterday, after you'd broken down. I told him the situation, I _know_ why he left Elena," Damon said. I took in breath. He _knew_. And he hadn't told me. That was ridiculous.

"Why didn't you tell me Damon?" I said, surprised that he would've left something as important as that behind my back.

"You were so unhappy," Damon began, "I wanted him to come and see what you'd turned into. The monster he'd become. Not for him to do _anything_ to you. For him to even speak to you. I wanted to get back at him, why would you let him back into your life as easily as that? I bet you haven't even remembered the way he left you- do you?" Damon hollered.

Suddenly, he was silent. I cut off his annoying voice with the simple touch of a button.

Frustration palpitated through me. I needed blood, I needed sense.

Shooting out of the door, I found Stefan's scent streaming through the tree, and chased it.  
Stefan Salvatore, the love of my life, Damon Salvatore, the bane of my life.

But how could I choose between the both of them? With Stefan, it was love all along, and then one final blow to knock me out for eternity. He had betrayed me. With Damon was the love/hate relationship. He was so sweet, yet so damaged, and I'd never had such strong feelings for him, as I had Stefan, because we'd never had… the chance? No, it wasn't a chance, I was with his _brother_. I was happy then; the chance wasn't something to be regretted, lost hopes and memories. It was just fate.

"Stefan!" I shouted. When he didn't react, I thwacked him with the back of my hand. He turned, half-stunned, and stopped drinking from the baby deer that was almost dead, holding the deer in his hands. I took the corpse from his hands, and cradled the body in my arms, its crimson red blood covering my hands, arms and cotton jumper. Lightly nurturing the baby, I looked up and saw Stefan looking at me in utter amazement. Gently, I raised the deer to my mouth, before sinking my teeth into the open wound. Madly, I sucked the remaining blood from his body, leaving but a drop left in its system, before throwing the useless corpse to the side.

"Do you do that with all your feed?" Stefan said, still shocked.

"No." I answered, a hint of laughter in my voice, "I tend to be a bit theatrical now and again, I'm not some sort of pussy Stefan," I said shaking my head.

"Well, from what I've seen, you most definitely are," Stefan smiled smugly, glancing down at my lower half. I felt self-conscious all of a sudden, this Stefan was so different. My being a vampire seemed to change his overall interactions towards me.

Horrified, I realised….

"You're thinking of Katherine aren't you?" I quizzed. Of course, sassy, sexy- what else would you use to describe _her_.

Stefan sighed, "I'm sorry Elena. Our relationship was awkward, different to what we had."  
"What we _had?_" I asked, sounding the 'had' with slightly more emphasis than the other words. They were lifeless caskets of speech. The answers would hurt me more than I had already been through this weekend alone. "Am I a thing of the past Stefan?" I asked.

"No!" Stefan shouted, almost too quickly. I eyed him suspiciously.

"Stefan… I love you. I always have. I gave you that love, and you returned it. It was perfect; but now I doubt if we should ever be together again,"

Stefan shook his head. I recognised this expression, why did he have to be so sensitive? It absolutely broke my heart, seeing this strong, muscle man breaking down.

"I can't feel so hurt again. You left me in the dark, and now I need you to help me decide what is right. It isn't even just for the good of us; for the good of our feelings, but it's for the good of everyone," my lips trembled, but I'd done enough crying. It was my turn to stand strong and be the person I should be, "If you're going to break my heart again, do it now, because I've seen what we're doing to Damon, and as your brother you should care for how he feels,"

"One single mistake Elena," he breathed through gritted teeth. Stop telling me how I _should_ feel Elena," Stefan's cold words broke through his teeth, "I can't help it if I feel that way…"

I simply walked away from his evil words. He was desperate and so was I.

The wind whistled in my ears and he was gone too.

Caroline Forbes [episode one]

The towering factories around the estate area were too ugly for my liking. I didn't like this area. But it was by chance I was round here, unlike my visits with Damon every month or so. I had to visit Jeremy, ask him about Bonnie. Bonnie was no-where to be found. I'd searched and searched, and I figured that Jeremy would know. I hadn't seen him, for _forever_ and I'd missed him, and the rest of the gang from Mystic Falls. Elena lived in the area; she and her brother had moved to the town a couple of years back. Or was it more than that? I couldn't tell these days, my hunger to remain young and free in personality, to match my beauty was too much. I spent my life travelling around the world, introducing myself to different characters, people, and environments. The prospect was delightful, a new thing, being, building, person, life, death, animal was created each second of the day; a new secret to uncover, a new dish to try, a new love to hate but worship at the same time.

I smiled in contentment of my life. This was just the way I wanted it to be. My energy was sparked by enjoyment.

Then, I spotted a dark clothed figure approach me. My heart beat one profound hammer. Vampire life was so different to humans, my heart still beat but no blood rounded my body. It was as though something you were very fond of, and used to had changed, such as software; at first you were _so_ angry at facebook for displaying a bar at the top to access your wall, your profile, and your pictures. But now that I've got used to it, I don't mind at all anymore, I find it practical now, and I'd completely forgotten what it looked like before. I laughed.

A better example would be when Doctor Who regenerated from Christopher Eccleson into David Tennant. I was in my tween stage. I giggled as I remembered my full fringed hairstyle, my chubby cheeks. I _hated_ David Tennant; my life was completely over as soon as the old doctor was gone. But then the show continued, and now I absolutely love him, the series is my favourite Sci-fi show of all time.

All of a sudden Damon's hard face was directly in front of me. I was spell-bound in that first second.

"We meet again, eh?" I said, placing a hand on my hip and cautiously stepping back from his intimate gaze. He made me feel awkward in that stage, I wasn't hungry for it like he seemed to be right now.

"There's no time for that," Damon said, grabbing my hipped arm and pulling my across the street. Flustered I shook my arms free and followed behind. I guess he needed me urgently.

Afterwards, I awoke mid-morning to find Damon sitting at the dressing table, his head in his hands. I hoped I wasn't bad. I hated disappointing him. I felt so submissive to him, my old human strings to blame. But I didn't feel forced anymore; he needed to be in charge of my body at times, feel the dominating force that he obviously felt. It was difficult for anyone else to understand, but we were more than just 'sex-friends'. Then again, I didn't tell many people.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up on the edge of the bed, adjusting my nightgown. It wasn't even ripped off of my body. Had I ever even taken it off?

"Elena- problems," he muttered.

I nodded privately to myself.

"So; I'm gonna head off," I trailed, throwing my excess clothing into my duffel bag, and throwing my summer dress over myself.

"Okay then," Damon said, waving his hand at me, as all I could see was his back. I couldn't help but feel a little upset that he just waved me off like that; typical Damon.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? Talk things out?" I asked, half-laughing at my ridiculousness. In the mirror, his facial expressions looked disgruntled. It was probably my sarcasm with the offer. I began to feel like it could have been a good idea... I hope I hadn't failed- again. I was about to apologise when he said;

"It's okay."

I turned my back to him, and put my hand on the door-knob.  
"And thank you Caroline," he said. The words pricked my ears. I turned to face him again, but he refused to look up, though I was sure he knew I wanted his attention. He just continued to finger his ring. I shook my head and left the room.


	6. The Game BEGINS Part 1

I was sure it was over. Breathing in his scent, I closed my eyes. I imagined his feather light touch shielding my body.

"Elena!" Damon's voice hit me. Shocked, I jumped out of my bed and stared at his presence. I remembered exactly what I must have looked like then. I shook my head down to my right slightly.

"You look terrible Elena," Damon said from across the room.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically, scrunching my mouth together. Looking up, I noticed Damon's guilt-ridden face.

"I'm sorry Elena! I really didn't mean it like that!" Damon hissed; at both me and himself. I just laughed.  
"Damon! Calm down," I giggled. Damon smiled in relief, a sexy, genuine smile on his face. My face seemed to melt at the look, yet before he caught my eyes, I composed myself.

"So you're okay?" Damon said, stalking closer towards me.

"I guess so," I mumbled, "I'm thinking Stefan told you _everything_?" I said.

Damon nodded, "Pretty much."

"You care for him don't you?" I asked. It was evident in his eyes that when he spoke of Stefan in this moment he felt proud; proud of his little brother, who ran the estate for his father, acted like the perfect gentleman around everybody whilst Damon was gallivanting across America, fighting enemy trenches and battling through fires and ices. Neither of them held the indolent role of course, yet Damon had considered he had the easier one. Damon never having to stay in one particular place, never having an arranged marriage that would only cause him heartbreak, for so many different complicated reasons as Stefan had. Damon wasn't tied to his father's estate, or his father, for that matter. Damon couldn't really point the blame at his little brother for being as cautious and gentle as he was as a vampire really. But Damon always had one thing to blame Stefan for, his vampire life. It was hard to believe that Stefan was the blood-loving vampire with an ambition to kill. The thought would have sickened me as a human, but now I was one of the same, I felt little more than perplexity to be honest.

"Yes, Elena," Damon said, addressing me by my name though there seemed no reason for the act in truth. "I've loved him since the day he was born, though he probably doesn't know it. I wanted to do him better Elena. I never meant to do what I did, remember! He _created _me…" Damon said, shaking his head repeatedly, biting on his lips furtively.

"Elena, I was the reason he left you all those years ago. I _made _him leave. I don't deserve you, but my brother does," a cold sheet spread his face at his own uttering's.

I honestly couldn't feel. My life seemed so brilliant this morning, and although I'd intended to discover the reason for his leaving before I got so angry a few mere hours ago. Also, I'd so long believed that Stefan was the cause for all my worries, when now; it was Damon's fault. I felt both pain and relief at the same time.

"I called him back though, the other day!" Damon tried to conserve himself, "I told him it was time for it all to end, that my plan wasn't going to work. We spoke for hours."

I held my breath.

"Do you remember when we all lived in Mystic Falls? Stefan apologised to me so many times, just before you two split the first time"

I nodded.

"He said he was sorry, sorry that I loved you, and sorry that I had made him turn," Damon said, seemingly in deep anger with himself. "He said he was _lonely_, I thought he was being selfish, but in fact, all he wanted was me by his side forever, for eternity,"

He shook his head and sat where I did before.

"Damon," I said, my voice cracking with the absence of it, "You have to understand something right now,"

Looking downward I saw his stare, distantly gazing into the horizon, as though I didn't exist.

"I _love_ Stefan, Damon. And all those times I pretended I didn't, just because of what he'd put me through, they're all just unreal. All of a sudden those feelings were never there, because of what you've said. You have to be able to understand."

"I shouldn't have told you," Damon said, "You expect _me_ to understand. _Me,_ Elena? Do you think it's easy seeing you with him?" Damon paused. I quickly defended Stefan,

"If it were the other way round, Stefan would probably feel …" I sighed. I had wanted to say, 'It would have probably have been worse for him,' but considering Damon's feelings, I decided against that route.

-"Stefan would probably feel the same as you do now," I finalised. Damon just stared blankly through my body.

"React please Damon!" I flailed, my arms flapping everywhere.

He looked up sharply and stared at my square in the eye. I looked down on him, a pity stitched deep into my heart. His eyes never moved…his beautiful eyes that sparkled like a water of easy grey. I imagined what he would say, but he spoke too quickly;

"You're her," his spiteful voice spat at my floor. My heart sank like it had been poisoned with lead. He was gone once again.


End file.
